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读后续写【心路点拨】原文铺垫：作者厌烦重复餐食→厨房课宜布创意京任比赛一作者需练创新···Paragraph1：（计划提出）放学后告知妈妈参赛计划→（态度转变）妈妈惊讶后同意→（实践过程）共同翻找食材、尝试组合（情感纽带）烹任中欢笑分享，拉近关系..Y-Paragraph 2：（场景描写）比赛日厨房忙碌紧张一，（挑战应对)用创意处理食材→（结果转折）未得第一但收获更珍贵体验一（主题深化）母女因烹饪获得自信与情感联结。【范文点评】参考范文精彩点评Afer school, I told my mom my plan.“Tonight, we're going to create 邹—段:8 new rccipe logeher,I said,my voice filled vith detcrmination.Her cyes 动作描写精准：scoured he kitchen中 scowred 体现wdened m suprise,but she quickly nodded,a spark of interest igniting细致搜寻;choppcd,mixcd.and fricd动作链强化画In her gaze "Alright, lel's do it. I'vc always wanted to try something new, 面感;bu ncver hnd the lume,” she admitied. We scoured Lhe kitchen, pulling out 情感传递生动： spark ofintcrest igniting 以火苗比ingrcdicnis hal we hadnever combined before.As wc chopped，mixed，喻兴趣的诞生；crcatingnbond将抽象的情感纽带and Iried. we loughed and shared storics, creating a bond ovcr our shared 具象化;cndeavor Despite the occasional mishap、like abit too much garlic or a转折处理巧妙：Despitc...mishnp用瑕症反衬欢乐，slighly burnt crumb lopping, ve wcrc having fun. This was more than 如 slighily burnt crumb 1opping 的恢谐细节。just cooking, ll was a culinary advcnturc that brought us closer togethcr.Thc day of he competilion arrivcd, and the kitchen classroom was 第二段:@led wth aclivity Students wero busuing around, their faces a mix of 环境描写立体：The nir was Lhick with the scents of.vanous dishes being prepared When tbe judges announccd thc ingredicntsncrvous cncrgy..精准捕捉复杂情绪;for our dishes,my hearl raced. I hndpracliced,but his was hc rcal tcst. I 心理描写细腻：hcart accd短句传神；representedcombinedheingredieniswbcrcaliviy.tumingLhemintoadishthatmy grovth将菜品升华为成长符号;represented my growth as a cook.As hc compeution cnded and thc rcsulis主题升华深刻：通过对比 didn't win...bur实出精神were announced,I didn” wlnfirst place,but I didn’1 fecl disappointcd.I 收获，破折号后的 crcatc,ndapt,enjoy 三动词总结enjoy he proccss of cooking wih somcono I love My mom and Icxchangcd a proud smule: wc had won a now rccipc and hc conidcnco lokccp cxploring he world of lavors.24